


the inside of our wrists

by Technicolour (Lirriel)



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Background Relationships, Fluff, M/M, Romantic Soulmates, That Are Super Vague, a spoonful of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:54:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24340153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lirriel/pseuds/Technicolour
Summary: It takes Sanha seven years to find his soulmate. But finding him might be the easy part.
Relationships: Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin/Yoon Sanha
Comments: 16
Kudos: 44





	1. shot

**Author's Note:**

> **me:** this will be like 3k words and it'll be nice and i can just throw it out and continue on with my life  
>  **this fic:** bitch you thought
> 
> So that's why it's separated into two parts :) Because even after chopping out a bunch, I still ended up with bigger than expected LMAO
> 
> (if i put out a double release next Saturday, this fic is the reason why)

Sanha first sees soul marks when he’s thirteen years old, three days past his acceptance into Fantagio as a trainee and riding high on the exhilaration of _movement_. He’s _moving_ , his voice is _carrying_ him, and he’s sprawled on his bed with his hands raised above him like he can reach up and touch the sky (he can’t, but only because there’s a ceiling in the way) when he sees _The Words_.

Even when he’s twenty and allowed to answer questions about his soulmate, he still recalls that first message as _The Words_ , said with all the gravitas a thirteen-year-old pipsqueak is capable of.

(Of course, when he finally talks about it, he’s taller than almost everyone he knows and working hard on his fitness, but his voice still breaks a bit and warbles like a cracked note, because even having a soulmate is something that demands reverence.)

 _The Words_ —as dramatized as they are in later years—turn out to be just be a handful of notes. Eggs, bread, milk. Written wistfully and then crossed out with a sad face beside it: Puppy. It reads like a hastily-thrown together grocery list, the type he sometimes makes when he has to keep track of what he wants to buy with his allowance money. But it’s not his handwriting.

The words belong to his soulmate.

He almost screams at the sight of them, brain overloaded and skipping like a scratched disk. But he sucks down the sound, smothers it into an almost-hiccupping whimper, because just seeing the words is enough to roll him onto his side, cradling the hand they’re written on like it’s something old and sentimental.

The truth of soulmates is that they’re too rare to draw anything but this sort of reaction. Not everyone has a soulmate. Most can’t even begin to know how to find theirs. But some lucky ones can write to one another, the words upon their skin appearing on each other as if by magic. Scientists thinks its something molecular: old and faded and almost entirely forgotten by nature itself.

And, of course, there’s just _how many people_ on the planet and all the many languages they speak? Sanha is lucky: he can read his soulmate’s handwriting, which means they’re Korean or at least decent in it. They’re also old enough to shop; being bonded to a baby would be _terrible_. And he knows (he thinks, anyway, with that boyish stubbornness that is common at his age) that they cannot be so terribly older than him: they wouldn’t write out a wish for a puppy, they’d just _get_ it.

Adults can do things like that.

Sanha doesn’t mull over all of this, of course. He leaps out of his bed and nearly runs over his guitar case in his desperate sprint to find a marker, a pen, _anything_ , to let him write back. He can write just beneath the list his soulmate has made, tell them they should buy banana milk, because it’s better than plain—and he’ll say he’s sorry they can’t get a dog, but maybe one day, when they’re together?

He uncaps a marker that he’s scooped up off the floor and sets it to his skin. Even though his entire body is trembling with excitement, almost all his bravado deserts him when he starts to write, and he ultimately settles for _Hello_ , because it’s better than nothing.

He waits with his heart hammering in his throat, marker poised over his skin to immediately answer as soon as a reply appears.

And he waits.

Waits.

Waits.

He sets the marker down with a defeated sigh, not even bothering to put the cap back on. He sucks hard on his lip as another smudge appears just below the list, almost running on top of his timid _Hello_ as it slowly forms into discernible words.

 _Call hyung,_ it says. 

(When he’s older and doing work on the music video for _Always You_ , he’ll wonder how different things would have been if he could have held an actual conversation with his soulmate. He’ll think it would have made the loneliness easier to bear, at least.)

There are different levels of communication between soulmates. Even though soul marks appearing on both is a common plot device in movies and dramas, most soulmates find that only one is capable of having soul marks appear. It makes knowing if you even have a soulmate difficult; finding each other? Almost impossible.

Even at thirteen, Sanha knows this. So he sets his jaw and gets to work.

Sanha is technically sixteen when he makes his debut, but he turns seventeen not long after. He enters the world of idols as the youngest in a five-man group called Astro.

He’s excited, practically floating because this is his dream coming true—but it’s also _his chance_. He can drop hints, talk about the messages he’s seen on his hand and arm (and, a few times, knee and thigh), and _finally_ find his soulmate—but his happiness is short-lived when he’s asked point-blank by the company if he has a soulmate before being advised (it’s technically a friendly suggestion, but he’s not so young that he doesn’t recognize when a suggestion is really an order) to neither confirm nor deny having a soulmate to anyone outside the company.

Nothing to fans, nothing to reporters, nothing to anyone.

(His group gets to know, but that’s only because they’ve been living together for _years_ by then, and soul marks are hard to hide when no one cares about how much skin they show.)

He leaves the meeting with the taste of bile on the back of his tongue, something sharp and acidic that he can’t swallow down no matter how much he tries.

He throws himself into promotions, desperate to prove himself and his group. The more he works, the less he has to think about just how far he is from ever knowing his soulmate.

He just wants a name.

Of course, the more he works, the more he realizes that trying to remember he has a soulmate, much less actively seek them out, is practically impossible. At first it’s just the promotions, but then he’s being prepped for interviews, sent out on photo shoots—and one day he just crawls into his bed and wonders how Eunwoo can do everything he does _and more_ and not collapse from exhaustion.

Eunwoo—who makes him forget he has a soulmate, who smiles so sweetly and so earnestly, even when he’s purposely tormenting Sanha. It starts the day when Eunwoo just bites him without preamble, so suddenly that Sanha’s yelp is more surprise than pain.

Eunwoo laughs after he’s done it, bashful and pleased, and tells Sanha he’s too cute for his own good. And Sanha’s stomach swoops down low when he realizes that there is a _very_ big difference between Eunwoo looking at you and Eunwoo _seeing_ you. Eunwoo sees him then, stripped of _maknae_ and _Astro_ and _teammate_ —and the sheer force of his gaze burns the tips of Sanha’s ears a bright red.

Sanha escapes only because Myungjun sweeps between them, looking harried and harassed and _annoyed_ , because he’s their main vocal and their leader and he’s old enough to recognize how a crush starts. They’re too young and too new (and he is too, static a near-constant scream in his ears as he struggles to handle transitioning from the baby of his family to the leader Astro so desperately needs him to be) to be able to survive a scandal based on teenage love.

Myungjun tells them, voice pitched too high in forced cheeriness, that they’re dining out and better eat as much as they can, because afterwards it’ll be nothing but dieting until they’re done with their next comeback.

Sanha looks between Myungjun’s face and belly and says, “But hyung, you never diet.” He yells when Myungjun catches his ear in a pinch and _twists_. (It hurts, but not enough that Sanha thinks it’s malicious.)

“Sanha-ya,” Myungjun coos, “I’m not in the mood for your sass.” He releases Sanha, stands back up, and some of his bravado strips away when he adds, almost timidly, “Just be careful, _please_.”

When they gather for their next lineup, Sanha is pulled from Eunwoo’s side and set up on the opposite end, where Myungjun can keep an eye on him. Myungjun explains afterward that it’s more cohesive, that the company wanted a nicer-looking arrangement for photos. But he’s a bad liar, and Bin knocks into Sanha a bit on their way back to the dorm.

It isn’t a hard bump. It could almost be accidental—but then Sanha remembers _how long_ Bin has worked for this and feels sick to his stomach. He curls up under his blanket that night and uses the light from his phone to stare at his hands, desperate for something.

He struggles not to cry when words finally do appear, because they’re not what he wants to see.

_Love is colored red like a rose. It will someday wither and fall like petals._

2016 is a blessing. 2017 takes him still higher. 2018 almost spirals down into a nightmare.

Sanha has never been a fan of the past. He’d rather face the future.

He wants 2019 to be better.

He sits down for a special feature with _The Star_ to celebrate his upcoming twentieth birthday. It feels weird to finally be an adult. Once upon a time he was the youngest idol in the industry, but now he greets groups that are his junior. He’s more established than most of his friends.

He still doesn’t know who his soulmate is.

And now that he’s no longer a minor, all the whispers and hidden chatrooms have moved out into the open. Even the reporter who does his interview can’t resist asking him about it while they wait for the photographer to arrive.

“Do you mind an extra interview? Something small, off-record.” She’s smiling as she says it, one hand rising to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Sanha has learned that “off-the-record” really just means “won’t make it into print”. It’ll surface later as a rumor, something that can never be pinned down on anyone, spun from a handful of burner bots that can deactivate as soon as the word is out there.

His own smile flashes teeth when he answers, “Sure, I’d be happy to!”

“Great,” the reporter chirps. She leans forward in her seat, still wearing that plastic smile as she says, “So, soulmates. _Veeery_ popular. I noticed your teammate, Cha Eunwoo, played one in _My ID is Gangnam Beauty_.”

“He was the main lead,” Sanha says. He allows himself a small, very real smile as he says, “His acting was really cool.”

(He still watches Eunwoo. You can’t _not_ watch Eunwoo. But after another scolding from their management—this time directed at the whole team—he does his best not to think of anything else.)

The reporter hums out an agreement, then says, “Soulmates have always been a hot-button topic amongst your fans. Some think no one in Astro has one—but there have been a few who reported seeing writing on your hand. And Cha Eunwoo’s.”

In hindsight, it’s bait—really shitty bait. Bait that wouldn’t hit any of the others. But Sanha _knows_ that Eunwoo isn’t his soulmate. He’s felt guilty more than enough times when he’d allow himself to lapse into dreams of what it would be like to confess—only for his soulmate to scribble down something on his hand.

It hurts the worst when it’s something lonely like, _I wonder if I even have a soulmate_.

“We’re not soulmates,” he says—still smiling, because smiles are a tool to be used in his industry. He laughs and knows it sounds hollow. “I can read what my soulmate writes, but they don’t get any messages I send back. I’ve tried.”

He doesn’t know Eunwoo’s situation, so he won’t comment on it.

“That’s a shame,” the reporter says. She scribbles something down in the notebook she’s held throughout his interview. He had seen her drawing in it before, but this looks like _words_ —and then she asks him, “Have you ever thought one of your fans is your soulmate? Do your check your hands against theirs at fan meetings?”

When Sanha laughs again, it’s with actual feeling.

“Ah,” he sighs out. “Wouldn’t that be nice?”

He doesn’t tell her that he has checked—each and every person he’s ever held hands with. Eyes squinting against the dark of the concert hall as he passed by waving arms and grabbing hands. Memorizing whatever small note he could find and its exact spot on him until it was imprinted on the inside of his eyelids like a tattoo.

He’s looked and he’s looked and he’s _so sick_ of looking.

The photographer arrives then, and the reporter wraps up their conversation with a chirped, “Good luck with everything!”

Sanha thinks he could certainly use it.

The end of 2018 is so busy Sanha can barely breathe.

In between prepping for their second concert, Astro is set to the task of recording songs for their first full album. They hammer out _Merry-Go-Round_ first, because it’s set to appear during the concert, then slowly work their way through the rest of the tracklist.

The entire album feels mature—but mature in a way that feels soft and tender, a spin on adulthood that Sanha struggles to pull off when he still hasn’t even experienced a proper relationship.

(There’s been—things. Incidents. Kisses that he doesn’t talk about, the feel of a hand so warm its imprint stayed with him for the rest of the night. None of it feels like anything lasting, when his soulmate is carved into his very skin. They all happened. They were all real—but they were also not, because of his soulmate.

He wonders if people without soulmates are the real lucky ones.)

The final song on the album takes the longest to come together. There’s an orchestra involved, and when Sanha asks what makes it so special, Myungjun smiles so wide that the rest of them automatically grin back.

“It’s my song,” he says. “I mean, it’s a collaboration between me and a producer, but it’s _mine_.”

Rocky pipes up with, “You’ve heard of Park Jinwoo, right?” When Sanha stares back at him, he raises both eyebrows and says, almost scorching the air with his disbelief, “What even _are_ you?”

Sanha is saved by Eunwoo sheepishly admitting he doesn’t recognize the name either.

“Both of you,” Rocky scoffs, and then he’s pulling up an Instagram page on his phone before raising it for them to inspect.

“I only know him because he does dance covers,” Bin murmurs from where he’s wrapped around a pillow, arms draped over it lazily.

Sanha sees the number of followers (an eye-watering _593K_ ) before his gaze drifts lower. The most recent picture is a selfie, taken of a man with an ample jawline and an even more obvious nose, headphones hung around his neck. He’s got his thumb raised, eyes squinting a bit. He looks satisfied, if a bit weary.

Sanha knows the feeling; he doesn’t think he’ll ever scrub the bags from under his eyes. His skin is a lost cause.

“He looks like a rapper,” Eunwoo says. “Isn’t your song more classical, hyung?” He aims this question at Myungjun. There’s open curiosity in his voice, puzzlement tugging his brows down into a position Sanha envies.

“It is, but he was the one who pushed for that sort of mood. I mean—the lyrics he wrote fit it.”

“And what did you do?” Bin asks with a lazy smile, settling his chin against his pillow.

Myungjun is quick to fire back, “I sang the guide song!” and sniffs pointedly before adding, “Ah, so ungrateful.”

“Is he going to be coaching us when we record?” Eunwoo asks.

Myungjun shakes his head. “Nah. He’ll be in the United States for most of December. I’ll shoot him the raw files to check over, but _I’m_ gonna be the one in the driver’s seat.”

“Oh, we’re doomed,” Eunwoo says and then yelps when Myungjun snatches the pillow out of Bin’s arms and proceeds to beat Eunwoo with it. “Mercy! Mercy!” Eunwoo cries out between giggles.

Sanha tries to sneak away, but Bin catches him by the ankle and drags him back with surprising force. “Oh no,” Bin says with a smile as Sanha yells in wordless protest, “You haven’t had your daily beatings.”

Afterward, it turns into such a scuffle that Sanha takes no notice of the words that appear on the back of his arm: _This Love. Roses. Look At Me._

And finally, circled in thick black ink and underlined twice, _Bloom_.

Sanha is so sick for the concert that he’s holed up in the corner of the dressing room every minute he isn’t performing or preparing, begging his voice not to give out.

His eyes are glassy, his face pale, and his team visits him one at a time, offering what care they can. What none of them realize is that his illness is only partially to blame for his near-manic state.

Whenever he sings, whenever he dances, whenever he is out on stage, he is _looking_.

 _His soulmate is at his concert_.

And the only clue he has is a little scribbled note that curls down his thumb: _22 nd & 23rd astro concert. Don’t forget!!_

He already wanted to do his best. For his team, for his fans. For everyone who stuck by his side no matter how hard things got. But knowing that his soulmate is out in the crowd, watching him—it nearly drives him mad, and at one point Bin catches him by the shoulder and asks softly, “What’s going on?”

If it was anyone but Bin, it wouldn’t be near-threatening, but Bin’s presence is almost unbearable when he’s about to go on stage. The contacts only make his eyes gouge even deeper into Sanha.

If Sanha looks half-wild, then Bin is the equivalent of a live wire.

And because he knows he can’t hide from Bin, Sanha mutely juts his hand out, where the words are a bit faded, a bit smudged—and Sanha can only assume his soulmate used permanent ink which is _thrilling_ because it means they didn’t want to lose the reminder. They didn’t want to lose _him_.

(The rational part of his brain practically spits at how easily he makes a fool of himself, but it’s a faraway thing when his soulmate is in the same building as him. After years and years and years, they’re almost together!)

He only remembers to breathe when Bin squeezes his shoulder.

“After the concert,” Bin says firmly. His eyes are hard, but his fingers betray him: on his neck, scraping at what could be a swathe of sweat but is more likely the unease he holds.

And Sanha knows. _He knows_.

But his soulmate—!

“Eunwoo-hyung’s almost done,” Rocky says, coming up behind Bin. He’s carrying a water bottle, which he passes to Bin, hair slicked back from where he’s had his makeup touched up. “Next set is soon, so be ready. That's what M-hyung says.”

Message delivered, he’s quick to pivot away, returning to the chair he had abandoned to bring them the message.

Bin and Sanha look at each other.

Almost like a warning, Bin says, “Sanha,” and Sanha knows then that he isn’t going to find his soulmate at the concert.

He should be more upset. But as he goes through the rest of the second day, tears pricking at his eyes as he overlooks a sea of purple light, he can only think that this is a beginning. For a better Astro. For a better him.

And he finally has something—his soulmate came. His soulmate knows him. They’re going to meet. It’s just a matter of _when_.

They’re in countdown mode. It’s fourteen days until their newest album is released, and Sanha is running on fumes. Comebacks are always stressful affairs, filled with sleepless nights and endless days, but this one is the worst because it’s been _forever_.

(Rocky will, of course, point out that it hasn’t been _actually_ forever, but it’s close enough.)

And because they’re all so stressed, maybe that’s why Myungjun is inspired to stick his head into the room Sanha shares with Rocky and ask if either of them want to come to lunch with him.

Rocky is immediately suspicious, and Sanha can only think wryly, _It’s the battle of the swindlers_ , because both of them _constantly_ find ways to wiggle out of paying for their meals. But Myungjun laughs off his voiced skepticism with an airy, “Oh, c’mon! We’re so close to our comeback—can’t I treat you guys?”

Rocky bluntly answers, “No,” and lies back down on his bed, but Sanha finds himself rising. He’s been going hard on a diet to prep for _All Light_ ’s release, and the thought of real food is enough to draw him out of bed. He’ll go even if he ends up having to pay for his stingy leader’s meal.

Luckily for him, this turns out to not be the case.

Instead, they’re met at a cute little restaurant that Sanha has been eyeing up for some time by Myungjun’s co-producer for _Bloom_. Park Jinwoo takes up so much space in all his Instagram posts that Sanha has to quickly cover his surprise when he realizes the guy is shorter than Myungjun.

Short but chic, considering his glasses match perfectly with the little studs that gleam in each ear, lips a pale peach that compliment the rose in his cheeks and the near-pink that tints his hair.

Sanha snatches himself out of fashion analysis before he falls too deep, because Myungjun is introducing them, and Park Jinwoo bows with a ready smile that crinkles his eyes. His face reminds Sanha of those grinning dogs from Japan. 

“He’s paying,” Myungjun has no problem telling Sanha confidently when they’re seated. Sanha immediately looks toward the Jinwoo, uncertain of how the producer will take it. But Jinwoo just sighs and flashes a small, wearied smile.

“I always do,” he says.

Sanha wants to ask if their eating out together is common, if Myungjun always knew Jinwoo—but he doesn’t have to, because his leader is a blabbermouth, and Jinwoo doesn’t seem interested in withholding information.

“We met playing tennis,” Myungjun says.

“No,” Jinwoo retorts. “ _I_ was playing tennis. You were throwing your racket into the net.” He looks toward Sanha , a mischievous smile creasing his face as he leans across the table to theatrically whisper, “He’s _really_ bad at it.”

“Ah!” Myungjun gasps with all the dramatics of a widowed stepmother misunderstood by her same-age stepchildren and touches his chest just above his heart like he’s been wounded. “Do you _hear_ what blasphemous things he’s saying, Sanha!?”

Sanha is saved from commenting by the arrival of his food. He shovels fries into his mouth like it’s part of his job description and only once his cheeks are suitably stuffed does he actually raise his head and say around a mouthful of greasy food, “But he’s right.”

It doesn’t really come out like that, it’s more gargled than spoken, but the meaning is clear. Myungjun throws his head back with a tempestuous, “ _Hmph!”_ and loudly announces that he needs to powder his nose. 

Sanha laughs until he chokes and then spends a few minutes alternating between trying to swallow down the fries still stuck in his mouth and forcibly washing them down with water.

Jinwoo doesn’t try to offer any assistance; he just laughs with an easy familiarity that suggests he isn’t a stranger to shows of such blatant stupidity. If he’s known Myungjun for any great expanse of time, then someone choking on fries is practically mundane.

When Sanha finally gasps out through his now-empty mouth, Jinwoo says kindly, “Drink some more,” and gently pushes his still-full glass toward Sanha.

“Thanks,” Sanha croaks out. He takes smaller sips, glad to be free of having so much food crammed into his mouth. (The fact that he is the one who did the cramming is irrelevant.)

Jinwoo makes a small sound of encouragement but ultimately lapses into silence.

For a few moments, Sanha fiddles with his phone while Jinwoo scrolls through his. Sanha picks through his meal and occasionally plucks a fry from Myungjun’s plate to munch on. Jinwoo eats his food steadily but slowly and, unlike Sanha, shows no interest in seeking out more.

When he’s run out of fries and refreshed the hashtag for his name on Twitter about twenty times in the span of two minutes, Sanha breaks the silence.

“You wrote _Bloom_ , right?” he asks. He knows it’s a stupid question, but he has to have a lead-in.

Jinwoo’s answering smile suggests he understands. “That's right.”

“I really like it. When I was reading the lyrics, it felt nostalgic for some reason.”

“Yeah, I think it’s because of how simple the concept is.” Jinwoo says. “It’s something I’ve been working on for… years, I think.” He says the last few words with a twist of his mouth, almost self-deprecating.

“The best things are worth waiting for,” Sanha answers. “I mean, look at Astro.”

(He probably shouldn’t say that. He doesn’t want to suggest that everything up to this point has been lesser—but he does think 2019 will be better. It has to be better.)

“Comparing my songs to your group—well, I’ll take that compliment.” Jinwoo is still smiling but his eyes are focused on his phone as he traces the designs on the back of its case. “I came to your concert in December,” he admits. “I thought it was really good. If you end up doing better than that, then I guess I’ll have to step up my game as well.”

“I think _Bloom_ will help us. It has a sound no one has ever heard from us before.”

Jinwoo’s smile shrinks, becoming almost bashful. He attempts a scoff, but it falls flat when everything he says is threaded through with warmth, “You’re just buttering me up. I was going to pay for your meals, anyway; I know how MJ-hyung is.”

“No,” Sanha answers. “I really mean that. I hope—I hope you’ll write another song for us. I want to sing your words again.”

“Even if it’s more pop-y next time?”

“Even then,” Sanha answers with a smile of his own.

Later, when Sanha is back in the dorms, waiting for Myungjun to change so they can head to the training room, he catches sight of a familiar black scrawl across his hand.

He wonders if it’ll be another note about cooking ingredients—or appointment times—or bits of poetry that sound familiar but turn up zero results on Google.

The only time he’s seen Astro mentioned was at the concert.

_Sanha_

He loses practically all moisture in his mouth. He stares down at his palm and his own name stares back at him. It’s been written by a hesitant hand, one that had to go back and darken the first character to make it match the rest.

Beneath, written in a more closely-bunched-together scrawl: _If it’s hard, say it’s hard. Wish for more._

Sanha tries to remember what he’s said recently, what’s been written about him recently—but his heart still jumps, to know his soulmate is thinking of _him_. To know they’re worried about him.

He’ll do his best for _All Night_ , for the promotions, so that he can help Astro get its first win. He needs to show his soulmate that he can do this, that they can believe in him.

The end of winter and the start of spring turn out to some of the busiest months of Sanha’s life. They are also some of his happiest: it starts with their album charting in, builds still higher with their first win on a music show (and for days Sanha can only think _first, we got first, finally_ ), and crests as they tour around the world and debut in Japan.

Honestly, he barely has a moment to breathe, but he’s happy that they’re so busy. Some members have more work than others, and he’s unsurprised when Myungjun announces he’s returning to his games of tennis, which have been on hold ever since this whirlwind of a year started.

He really doesn’t think anything of it (he has his own things to care about, like appearing on a special gaming program, practicing for a cover dance, playing as many games as he can squeeze into his limited time while still seeing friends and not just becoming a recluse) until the day a note appears on his hand.

He's seen a lot from his soulmate in recent months, and he’s come to expect _something_ about Astro every few weeks or so. It was even more common when he was promoting, because he would always see them scrawl down what time live voting started.

So, when he sees _Sat. 2:30PM MJ_ scrawled on his hand, Sanha deflates a bit. He tries to ease the sting of betrayal by reminding himself, _Of course they have_ other _stuff to do. It won’t always just be me. I’d be mad if they didn’t eat._

That’s what he thinks it is—a lunch date—even if it’s fairly late. Not that Sanha really has a good grasp of what times are good for eating and sleeping when he operates on a schedule that’s massively different from the rest of the country. _The joy of being an idol_.

Sanha only starts to make the connection when Myungjun tells Eunwoo he’ll have to take a rain check on their movie-marathon Saturday. “My friend finally has some free time,” he says when Eunwoo makes a questioning sound. “We’re going to play tennis!”

“And what time are you coming back?” Eunwoo is stubborn. Almost needy. Only Myungjun really understands what a rough time he’s had, and basically _everyone_ has seen the clip of the look they exchanged when it was announced Astro had won first place. They’re close, even if their relationship is understated to the fans.

(They’ve all been told, at one point or another, not to fuck up Eunwoo’s career. Though it was said more politely.)

“Well,” Myungjun cocks his head to the side, mouth puckering in thought. “We’re going to meet up at two-thirty, play a few sets… let’s say five? We can get dinner, too.” He puts on a dazzling smile.

Eunwoo aims Myungjun a half-hearted glare before sighing and saying, “ _Fine_ , but I get to pick the movie.”

“Of course,” Myungjun coos back.

Normally, Sanha would insert a coughed, “Whipped,” and accept his inevitable beatings—but he’s too focused on the note he saw before. He had waved off MJ as being shorthand for a place or an abbreviation of something outside his knowledge. But now he wonders if it’s a name—because everyone calls Myungjun “MJ”, and his soulmate knows Astro.

“Who are you playing with, hyung?” Sanha asks. He tries to keep his tone light, curious—like he doesn’t _really_ care, like he’s just asking to ask.

“Jinwoo,” Myungjun chirps. “You met him before. Short guy, paid for our food.”

“He produced _Bloom_ ,” Eunwoo chimes in helpfully.

“Oh.”

That’s really all Sanha can say. He wonders if that’s why the lyrics felt so familiar. He can barely remember Jinwoo, because the only important part of that particular day came afterward—when his soulmate wrote his name.

He pulls up Jinwoo’s Instagram page in between bites of dinner. He finds what he’s looking for sooner than he expected—a close-up of Jinwoo’s hand, with a caption that reads, “Writing down lyrics so I don’t forget! >.<”

The comments underneath are a mix of people telling him to just use the Notes app on his phone, people saying nice (and nasty) things about his hand, and people asking what sort of song he’s working on.

But Sanha only cares about the picture of Jinwoo’s hand and what’s written on it: _On your dark road, I’ll shine a bright light_. There are variations squiggled around it, but Sanha knows them all, the same way he so easily recognizes the handwriting that’s been a part of his life for seven years.

He backs out onto the main page and taps the newest post. He saw it briefly, when he was searching for a picture that showed off Jinwoo’s hand. It’s a photo of the sunset with _Do you believe in soulmates?_ written across the bottom in white text. Jinwoo hasn’t even bothered to caption it, and the only tag is _#iwonder_ but comments are already flooding in.

Sanha taps the _Like_ button before he remembers he’s logged into his official account.

It might be the biggest blunder of his career.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some clarification on stuff that happens in the story:
> 
>   * Bin bumping Sanha near the start isn’t because Bin is mad at him, that’s Sanha reading too much into things / the early onset of depression making him view everything around him in a negative light. 
>   * While the OG Bloom that we know and love was a collaboration between Myungjun and Jinwoo, this Bloom is almost entirely Jinwoo’s.
>   * I haven’t been able to find a good translation for Lights On, so apologies if any of the lyrics are a bit ??. They’ll be changed when a better translation is released. 
>   * Just in case it isn't obvious, Jinwoo ended up becoming a producer by following in the footsteps of one of his dance crew. Without him, Astro debuted as a 5-man team with Myungjun as the leader. With Myungjun as leader and Jinwoo not around, the dynamic of the team is a bit different and relationships have all shifted a bit. They all still love each other, though!
>   * As far as soulmarks go, only Sanha and Eunwoo have been shown to have them :> ~~does this mean they are the only ones who knooooows~~
>   * also while modern korea has issues with homophobia, i was not about to unpack that shit in what was meant to be a small oneshot, so this au just pretends no one has any issues with that :^)
> 



	2. chaser

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  ~~why did this fucker get so long lmaooooo~~  
>  anyway, I mixed in some social media to help finish off the story. i've always wanted to write a fic that used sns, and this seemed like a fic where it would actually fit. I did my best to just ignore twitter while writing this and based my characters off general twitter stereotypes. Did have a lot of fun with it, so hopefully I can do it again in the future lmao.
> 
> also if the timeline seems a lil wonky, it probably is. just ignore that and enjoy :'D

**RED 💜 #ALLNIGHT_1STWIN 💜** @rockyyychu

@trashbin_writes @astroha_22 @offclaroha Have you seen this???

[ image ] [ image ]

 **rickrolling thru life 😈** @astroha_22

OK BUT WHO GAVE HIM PERMISSION

 **rickrolling thru life 😈** @astroha_22

SANHA SOULMATE CONFIRMED

 **rickrolling thru life 😈** @astroha_22

someone tell @offclaroha to wake up i need to scream

 **i write smut not tragedy #OT5Forever** @trashbin_writes

🙄 twt having a real one rn

 **rickrolling thru life 😈** @astroha_22

DO I WANT TO KNOW? DO I NEED TO SMACK A HOE?? 😤😤

 **RED 💜 #ALLNIGHT_1STWIN 💜** @rockyyychu

🙃🙃 Just don’t look at his search. Or any search. 🙃🙃

 **Peach Butt 🍑** @offclaroha

I know the news that just came out might be shocking, but let’s wait and see if f*mu confirms first. Right now the only thing we have to go on is an insta screenshot and it’s *really* easy for people to ‘shop photos. Please don’t fight each other. At the end of the day, we all want what’s best for our boys—their happiness is our #1 priority. Thanks Aroha! **💜 #** **아스트로 #ASTRO** **#** **엠제이** **#** **차은우** **#** **문빈** **#** **라키** **#** **윤산하**

 **i write smut not tragedy #OT5Forever** @trashbin_writes

good **🍑**

 **rickrolling thru life 😈** @astroha_22

best fruit **💜💜💜**

 **RED 💜 #ALLNIGHT_1STWIN 💜** @rockyyychu

Thanks Peach! I think we were all so excited that we forgot ourselves. Let’s try to rein it in guys.

 **rickrolling thru life 😈** @astroha_22

@offclaroha sent you a dm

Sanha only realizes what account he’s on when Myungjun howls from the next room, “Sanha, what did you _do!?_ ”

It isn’t his private account, it isn’t his fan account—it’s the _official_ Sanha of Astro account that was linked in every news article that went up when his group publicly joined Instagram.

He immediately taps the _Like_ off, hissing out, “No, no, no!” like he can just will what he did out of existence.

It doesn’t take long for people to start posting about it. He swaps over to Twitter and scrolls through his feed: it’s nothing but his _Like_ on the photo (helpfully pointed out with stickers or circled in big, brilliant red) paired with the rumors that leaked from his after-hours _The_ _Star_ interview—and then there’s also snapshots of his hands, theorycrafting on whether he draws on himself or if he _actually_ has a soulmate.

(He taps open one thread that claims to explain exactly _why_ he must have a soulmate and everyone has just been blind to it and finds twenty-three parts of intermixed text and pictures and video.)

There’s also a lot of people posting pictures of their own hands, words written atop them. _Oppa can you see this? Sanha, DM this account if you see this!! I love Astro!_

He exits the app completely when his brain starts to short-circuit, overloaded on a mixture of too much information and sheer panic.

He drops his phone onto the table and leans back in his chair, grinding the heels of his palms into his eyes as he tips his head back. “Aaah, I’m doomed!”

“That your soulmate?”

Rocky settles down in the chair beside Sanha’s, dressed in pajamas and bare-faced. Without his makeup on, his brow is more prominent than normal; it only adds to the pinched, worried look his face carries. His appearance is enough to make Sanha place his hands back in his lap.

Sanha sucks on his lip, almost unwilling to say the answer aloud, but eventually relents with a soft, “Yeah.”

The corner of Rocky’s mouth quirks upward, and he says, “Idiot. You’re supposed to check which account you’re on before you start scrolling.”

“I know,” Sanha says.

“Didn’t know you followed Jinwoo-hyung.”

“I don’t.” Sanha answers Rocky’s unimpressed look with a shrug of his shoulders. It’s not like they all share the same tastes in music. If he has to pick, he’ll choose soft, simple songs over their more energetic contemporaries whenever he can.

( _Bloom_ , he thinks.)

“I only realized because M-hyung mentioned going out to play tennis. I had a note on my hand that matched the date and time. So I—looked,” Sanha admits grudgingly.

Even though he knows there weren’t enough clues, even though he only knew Jinwoo as a producer of one of their songs (and they’ve had _how many songs_?), he still blames himself. Why didn’t he connect it when they met? Why didn’t he talk to Jinwoo about soulmates? Why didn’t he ask for his phone number at least, so he could have—

—What, exactly? Texted him, “Hey, are you my soulmate? Can you write something on your hand so I can check?” Would that really have been better than quietly liking one of his Instagram posts? The only reason it’s bad now is because he used his Astro account.

“Sanha,” Rocky says. His voice is enough to draw Sanha out of the raging sea his thoughts have collapsed into.

“You’re going to need to have a talk with management.” _That_ voice belongs to Myungjun, and Sanha swivels in his chair to find his leader stood behind him, phone raised up in one hand. He looks like he was preparing to sleep, with his hair in cloudy disarray and bunny slippers on his feet and glasses perched haphazardly upon his nose. The typical exuberance that is common in Myungjun’s behavior is entirely absent; it has been replaced by the sobriety that comes only when the weight of leadership is especially heavy upon his shoulders.

Sanha thinks, _I did that._ He’s old enough now to know just how much leadership wears on Myungjun. To know he’s added to the burden fills his belly with leaden guilt.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs. 

Sanha feels worse when Myungjun smiles at him.

Myungjun’s voice is gently coaxing as he says, “There’s nothing to be done, Sanha-ya. The company is going to call in Jinwoo as well, just so they can confirm.” His shoulders rise in a shrug. “If he really is your soulmate, then you should be celebrating. Let people talk. That’s really all they can do.”

(This isn’t true. They all know there’s much worse people can do, when an idol’s career rises and falls on the back of fans. But Sanha appreciates Myungjun trying to cheer him up.)

Is finding your soulmate worth it? When it’s at the expense of your career? Your dream?

Sanha doesn’t have an answer.

The morning after Sanha’s mistake he sits in a board room. It’s spacious, long, which suggests it’s a room his company uses only when matters of great import are being discussed. He hates that it’s his soulmate, of all things, that has them gathered.

He fidgets in his chair, a few seats down from the end closest to the door. The collar of his suit pinches at his neck in a way that he hates. His manager sits beside him, ramrod straight, and everyone else—he recognizes a few faces, but following 2018’s overhaul, there’s a lot of people he _doesn’t_ know. He’s sure Myungjun and Eunwoo can name each and every one, but he’s always been the baby of the group. He’s never had to interact with anyone beyond his trainers, stylists, editors, and managers.

Sanha suddenly realizes just how ignorant he is and works hard to keep the panic from showing on his face.

“You’ll be okay,” someone murmurs, and Sanha meets the eyes of—the Director of Marketing? He thinks?—a woman, around the same age as his mother, with a surprisingly sharp face. He greets her with a small nod and wonders if she modeled when she was younger.

His eyes travel down the length of the gathered men and women again, reconfirming his earlier suspicions: the CEO himself isn’t here, which means this might not be as serious as he thought.

Of course, any regained confidence flattens itself down when their guest arrives: Park Jinwoo enters with his hair slicked back and his suit perfectly sized to his proportions, two rings dangling from his right ear while a single stud shines from his left. Because of how his clothes have been tapered, he actually projects the suggestion of height, and Sanha wonders if this is something like armor: if Jinwoo is trying to imply a confidence he actually lacks.

(His thought is proven true when Jinwoo sits down in his chair, and—for just a moment—his face crumples upon itself in worry and apprehension. He smooths it away fast enough, but not so swiftly that Sanha doesn’t take notice.)

“Well,” says the man at the head of the table, “now that we’ve all arrived, I suppose we should get straight into it.” He is older, with hair that is more salt than pepper and a mouth that sits pursed into almost constant contempt. “Take notes,” he adds to a young man sat beside him.

Sanha doesn’t drink coffee, but he comes to understand how it can be such an office staple in the conversation that follows.

Because this came upon them so suddenly and they have to act quickly, the meeting is swift. Or, at least, the part that Sanha is allowed to participate in is fast. The management assembled only confirm with him the set of events that led to his discovery, have Jinwoo write on himself to show that they are indeed soulmates—and it’s probably the only time Sanha has _not_ been happy to see his soul marks show—and then hammer out what will happen in the next few months.

“A four year age-gap isn’t the worst,” one of the vice presidents says. “And he’s in the music industry as well.”

Sanha has mostly been using the notebook and pen he was given at the start (“To write down any notes or questions,” the friendly intern had told him.) to doodle stars and Doraemon and whatever else his fingers itched to draw. But, as he’s reminded of how close in age Jinwoo and he are, he writes down _Puppy?_ Counting backwards in his head, if he was thirteen when _The Words_ first appeared, that would have made Jinwoo seventeen. He doesn’t think he saw Jinwoo with a dog in any of his Instagram posts—but Sanha also wasn’t just scrolling through when he last looked through it. His fingers tap on the table as a distraction, his feet fidgeting together. He wants to turn his phone over and look _right now,_ but they’re still discussing his future.

“Do you wish to pursue a relationship with him?”

Sanha raises his head at the question, turning to look toward Jinwoo with the rest of the table. That was something he never really thought about: that Jinwoo might not want to.

Every movie he’s watched, every drama he’s binged, every book he’s read (admittedly not many) have all suggested that the hardest part of being a soulmate is _finding_ each other. The characters struggle, experience setbacks, but ultimately come together. And they just—love each other. There’s a wedding, or a kiss, or _something_ to signify that they’re together. But now Sanha has to face the question: What comes after finding your soulmate?

“I’d torpedo his career,” Jinwoo says, not unkindly, but for Sanha it feels like a knife through the heart. The only thing that keeps him from spiraling into despair is that Jinwoo adds, “I’ve been watching how his fans have been reacting. I think you can say he has a soulmate—it’ll give them _something_.”

“It would have been good to reveal it when he turned twenty,” one of the directors says with a nod. “But we’ll just say we wanted to respect his privacy.”

“We’ll spin it sympathetic,” the marketing director says. She tosses Sanha a small smirk and adds, “We have a few fan events coming up, so you better do your best in them. Show that you still love everyone; no one wants to share their favorite person’s heart.”

“Do you have to put it that way?” one of the directors asks her.

She shrugs and brushes her hair back. “We build a brand on selfishness. Can’t get too mad when we break the promises we made.”

“You can tell them about me after a few months,” Jinwoo says. “It’d give me time to prepare as well.”

“After Astro’s next comeback,” someone says. Another vice president, maybe, but Sanha is more focused on what Jinwoo just said. ( _After a few months._ About _him_.)

“That’s a good idea. We’ll have a buffer of a few months for the comeback after that.”

“Excuse me,” Sanha says. His voice quivers a bit, but it doesn’t crack. “When we announce that we’re soulmates—what changes?” He doesn’t really know who to look at, so he settles for staring at the marketing director who offers him another friendly smile.

“That’ll be for you two to decide,” she says, drawing Jinwoo into the conversation with a nod in his direction. She leans forward, elbows on the table, and says, “Just have an idea of what you want before we announce it. Because when we do, you’ll be getting a lot of interviews. A lot of questions.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Jinwoo says. He aims a confident smile in Sanha’s direction.

Sanha just smiles back weakly, his mouth dry. _He’s my soulmate,_ he thinks. _I found my soulmate._

_Now what?_

**L I G H T inthedark 🎂** @0223_XXOO

Official statement from the company  
tldr: sanha has a soulmate, no word on who it is. full translation up later ✌🏼

[ image ]

 **i write smut not tragedy #OT5Forever** @trashbin_writes

whos ready for 100000000 soulmate fics bc i am

 **rickrolling thru life 😈** @astroha_22

MY SON HAS A SOULMATE

 **rickrolling thru life 😈** @astroha_22

istg if anyone is mean to him 😤

 **i write smut not tragedy #OT5Forever** @trashbin_writes

so far it’s been ok i think?

 **RED 💜 #ALLNIGHT_1STWIN 💜** @rockyyychu

Okay but who didn’t see this coming? We’ll support him no matter what **💜**

 **Peach Butt 🍑** @offclaroha

Let’s try not to theorize too much on who his soulmate is, it’s entirely his prerogative if he wants to keep such an intimate part of his life private. Thanks to f*mu for telling us! We appreciate information like this.

 **Peach Butt 🍑** @offclaroha

@0223_XXOO I know you said full trans later but can I ask for clarification on how they’re handling his soulmate?

 **L I G H T inthedark 🎂** @0223_XXOO

@offclaroha ofc! its mostly corporate fluff tbh. that they respect their artist’s privacy and will let him choose when to announce his soulmate, if he ever does.

 **Peach Butt 🍑** @offclaroha

@0223_XXOO Hmm that kinda makes it seem like they’re already aware of who his soulmate is.

 **L I G H T inthedark 🎂** @0223_XXOO

@offclaroha they probably know. 

**Peach Butt 🍑** @offclaroha

@0223_XXOO I see. Thank you for the info Light! 🤗

Management releases Jinwoo and Sanha after they’ve confirmed that Sanha will eventually reveal his soulmate to the public. Or, rather, they allow Sanha to leave first. They hold onto Jinwoo for a few more minutes so he can sign the confidentiality agreements they’ve drawn up—but it doesn’t take long.

Sanha stands in the lobby, waiting for his manager to pull the car around. Normally he would have just walked out with his manager, but there are a few people loitering around the building, and neither of them are in the mood to fend off rambunctious fans. He loves his Aroha, he does, but some don’t quite understand the concept of personal space.

Jinwoo almost walks right by him, loosening his tie as he goes, and it’s only Sanha’s choked out, “Wait!” that makes the shorter man stop.

“Oh, Sanha,” Jinwoo says with an easy smile. “Hi there.”

“Hey,” Sanha answers. “Did you ever get your puppy?”

“What?” Jinwoo answers. He’s still smiling (he’s too polite _not_ to smile, Sanha thinks), but there’s a crease starting to appear between his brows. He looks—confused and concerned equally, and it’s such a cute expression that Sanha finds himself smiling in return.

He enjoys Jinwoo’s obvious bemusement for a few moments more before explaining. “The first soul marks I ever got from you—I was thirteen. You had written some stuff to buy, like milk and eggs, and you’d also written ‘puppy’ and crossed it out. I wondered if you had gotten it since then.”

“Oh,” Jinwoo says. He still looks concerned, and his words are quiet as he replies, “No, I didn’t. I can’t keep a dog in a little apartment.”

A lot of things have changed for Sanha in the seven years it’s taken for him to find his soulmate. When he was younger he absolutely thought it’d be himself and his soulmate with a house and a dog. But as he’s gotten older, he’s come to adore kittens. He fell in love with Bin’s cat, and recently his brother has talked of getting one. But now he thinks—why not both?

He wants to say that. Wants to say, “Why don’t we have a house with a cat and a dog?” but Jinwoo has only just found out he has a soulmate. Sanha remembers when he wrote _I wonder if I even have a soulmate?_ and has to fight down the urge to gather Jinwoo in his arms and just hug him.

He’s trying to figure out how to continue the conversation when Jinwoo says, “Oh, we should exchange contact info.”

Sanha’s response is an immediate, awkward, “Oh, yeah!” He laughs a bit as he pulls his phone out of his pocket, fingers clumsy against the glass screen.

“I mean, I could leave you notes on my skin,” Jinwoo says with a wry smile. “You just wouldn’t be able to reply.” He peeks up at Sanha from beneath his bangs and smirks a bit. “But maybe you prefer playing coy?”

“No, no,” Sanha hurries to reassure Jinwoo, well aware of how his ears burn. “No, I just—I didn’t know how to tell you. I had only just found out, and—!”

He stutters to a stop when Jinwoo laughs and shakes his head.

“It’s fine,” Jinwoo says. His mouth is softer, and his eyes are creased up in warmth. “I probably would have done something really stupid, like write an entire song dedicated to you.”

“Would you have sung it too?” Sanha asks. He’ll readily admit he’s a sucker for romances that feature a confession with a song and a guitar. He’s imagined doing something similar a few times himself, though the object of his affections was typically small and pretty.

(But Jinwoo is small, compared to him—and maybe he isn’t pretty in the traditional sense of the word, but he’s certainly not unattractive.)

“If I did, you probably wouldn’t want to be seen near me afterwards,” Jinwoo admits with a small laugh. “I did a bit of vocal training when I was younger, but—well, there’s a reason I write the words you sing instead of singing them myself.”

“It’s probably harder to write the words,” Sanha says. He is reminded of _Bloom_ and how gently it overcomes its listener. It tastes like sweet sorrow when he sings it.

Jinwoo smiles at him. “Gotta write a lot to find the best ones.”

They stand there together for a few moments longer. Sanha can’t think of anything to say, and Jinwoo seems to have run out of the best words for their conversation—but Sanha doesn’t find it awkward. He likes just standing there, with Jinwoo nearby. He thinks this is what his life could eventually be: them, existing together, just taking comfort in the other’s presence.

It feels like a piece of him tears off when they finally part. He’s the one who has to go; his phone buzzes with a text from his manager, saying the car’s waiting just outside the glass door. He tells Jinwoo.

“I should leave too,” Jinwoo says with a sigh, pushing his own phone back into his pocket. He combs his hand through his hair in a distracted manner and aims a smile at Sanha that seems almost wistful. “But I’ll message you later. We should see about hanging out when you’ve got some free time.”

“I’d like that,” Sanha tells him.

“Yeah?” Jinwoo’s smile grows a fraction wider. “Me too.” He says, “See you around, Sanha,” and moves toward the door first. He offers a small wave just before he pulls the handle open and sweeps through.

Sanha counts out ten, fifteen, twenty seconds in his head just to be safe. Then he heads out the door as well, chin dropped low and shoulders slouched to fend off any awaiting cameras. And, of course, they’re there. He is an idol, after all.

He just hopes Jinwoo can stand it.

**EYES ON** @KLG230_X

👁️  
 **#** **아스트로 #ASTRO** **#** **엠제이** **#** **차은우** **#** **문빈** **#** **라키** **#** **윤산하**

[ image ] [ image ]  
[ image ] [ image ]

 **Peach Butt 🍑** @offclaroha

Block that account and report them. We were asked to respect Sanha’s privacy, not take creepshots.

 **kisses & misses **@purple_starlife

WAit is tht Sanha’s soulmate?

 **ALL PUN NO SUN** @milkywhite

SHE’S BLOOOOONDE KDAGJ;ladgj

what is this fucking betrayal

 **your local fire-breathing dragon #ddanaprotectionsquad** @fiery_soul

I think that’s a dude 👀

 **your local fire-breathing dragon #ddanaprotectionsquad** @fiery_soul

omg sanha your taste 😩👌🍆💦

 **i write smut not tragedy #OT5Forever** @trashbin_writes

guys stop ffs

 **ALL PUN NO SUN** @milkywhite

THAT’S WORSE SLDG;SAGJK

 **your local fire-breathing dragon #ddanaprotectionsquad** @fiery_soul

hmu when we find out who that absolute snacc is 👌👀

 **Peach Butt 🍑** @offclaroha

Please don’t play internet detective. :/

“ _Sorry,_ ” Sanha texts Jinwoo a few days later. He realizes he should probably clarify, but Jinwoo calls him before he can type the words out.

He’s only just brought the phone to his ear when Jinwoo asks, “Why?”—and Sanha momentarily loves and hates his voice in equal measure. Loves it, because it sounds like security and selflessness, a warmth that is unqualifiable but undeniable. Hates it, because it is something that demands a wistful jealousy, a spontaneous daydream of what it would be like to speak distilled gold and crushed amber.

“Because,” he says, trying to remember anything before Jinwoo’s voice was being injected directly into his ear, dripping like warm syrup. He almost closes his eyes when Jinwoo exhales a breathy chuckle. “Because,” he says again, clearing his throat, “I mean, you’ve seen—everything, right?”

Jinwoo can’t see him, but Sanha gestures with his hand, punctuating his _everything_ with a particularly grand flourish.

 _Everything,_ in this case, refers to how social media has reacted to news of Sanha’s soulmate. Most of the fandom has left it at that, but more than a few have latched onto candid shots taken of Jinwoo as he exited Fantagio’s building. They’re bad-quality, zoomed in, and mostly just show someone young leaving the entranceway, but the timing has made more than a few of them think he _must_ be Sanha’s soulmate.

They’re right. But Sanha doesn’t want them digging deeper. If they get Jinwoo’s name, then all hell will break loose.

“Oh,” Jinwoo says, and he chuckles again.

(Sanha swears he wasn’t tired a second ago, but Jinwoo’s voice over the phone is making him want to sleep.)

“It’s fine,” Jinwoo says. “Even if they figure out it’s me, it’s pretty easy to just say I was there to discuss a future song.”

Sanha—had not thought of that. But Jinwoo’s explanation does make him ask, “Are you doing a song for our next comeback?”

Jinwoo hums before saying, “Spoilers.”

Sanha pouts instinctively, only relaxing his lips when he remembers that he’s just making faces at a phone. He wishes he could see Jinwoo in person. Especially when he’s curled up on his bed like this, slowly being lulled to sleep—he’d just wrap around his soulmate, tuck his face into the curve of Jinwoo’s shoulder, and succumb to slumber.

(The rational part of his brain points out that he still doesn’t know how Jinwoo feels about him, but it’s a faraway voice when he’s submerged in bliss.)

He thinks Jinwoo must hear his breathing deepen—or maybe he hears when Sanha shifts, wrapping one arm around his pillow so he can hold onto _something_.

“Are you getting enough sleep, Sanha?” Jinwoo asks.

“Mmm,” Sanha hums in agreement. And he is, really. It’s just—Jinwoo.

“You just seem a bit out of it,” Jinwoo says carefully.

Maybe the lack of direct contact makes him bold. Sanha can’t really explain what makes him answer, “Come see for yourself.” But it’s what he says, and Jinwoo’s immediate explosion of laughter is the only thing that keeps him from trying to burrow into his bed and abandon his life as an idol.

It also wakes him up a bit. “I could have phrased that better,” he says—and huffs when Jinwoo just laughs harder.

“No, no,” Jinwoo answers, voice fluttery with unspilled mirth. “There is _nothing_ that could have made that better.” And then, more thoughtful, “Are you even allowed to have visitors to your dorm?”

(Sanha sure as hell hopes so, or his entire team has some shit to explain.)

“Yes,” he answers. He gives in to the impulse and rolls his eyes to the empty air as he says, “We’re not trainees. The company doesn’t mind so long as it isn’t—you know.”

“Call girls?”

Sanha finds himself wondering exactly what sort of circumstances Jinwoo grew up in that he can just reference prostitution so easily. Then again, Eunwoo’s massive hentai collection is the worst-kept secret in Astro, so maybe it’s less environment and more genetics.

“Anyone we might have… relations with… is discouraged,” Sanha says, his wording as delicate as he can manage.

Jinwoo laughs again, his voice bright as he asks, “Should I bring food too? Is M-hyung there?”

“Are you actually coming?” Sanha asks. He ignores the small spark of jealousy that flickers through him when Jinwoo mentions Myungjun—after all, they’re friends. They play tennis together.

“I can,” Jinwoo says. “Unless you have something you’re doing, or—?”

“No, you can come,” Sanha says. “I just wondered if you weren’t busy yourself.” He pauses for a moment, then reluctantly adds, “MJ-hyung was here earlier. Give me a second; I’ll see if he still is.”

Jinwoo laughs. “It’s okay. I just wanted to know how much food to bring.”

“Ugh,” Sanha says. “Between him and Eunwoo-hyung, I’m amazed I haven’t starved.”

“Eating you out of house and home?”

“Yeah,” Sanha says. “Would you actually bring food? You don’t have to.”

The truth is that Sanha’s dinner tends to come whenever his stomach reminds him he needs to eat. He’s had every member of Astro buy him food at one point or another, just because he looks absolutely pathetic when he’s hungry—and unlike them, he doesn’t devour the sun and the moon every time he _does_ eat.

He thinks he could be hungry now, but he’s also too lazy to sort through the disaster zone they call a fridge. At the same time, he doesn’t want to force his soulmate into buying stuff for him. It took him a while to get used to gifts from Aroha, and he still feels a bit uneasy when he’s given things he feel he hasn’t earned.

“I was thinking of grabbing some chicken, anyway,” Jinwoo tells him. “Is everyone from Astro there?”

“Uh, one moment,” Sanha tells him. He sets the phone to mute just so he can carry it with him as he exits the room he shares with Rocky.

It takes him some time to track down the other members, but that’s only because Eunwoo is holed up in his room reading over scripts and Rocky is taking possibly the longest shower of his life. All of them readily agree to chicken, both because they’re all sick of eating convenience store foods (or Rocky’s cooking, which isn’t _bad_ but it is very Rocky) and because someone else paying makes the chicken taste even better.

When Sanha’s done, he travels back to his bedroom for what little privacy he can get and takes himself off mute. “Hey, sorry—everyone is good with chicken. M-hyung said to order double?”

“He wants to eat through all my savings,” Jinwoo says with a laugh. Sanha can hear scratching in the background, and he wonders if Jinwoo is working on more lyrics. “But that’s fine. Just text me the address of your place, and I’ll head over once I’ve secured the chicken.”

“That sounds good,” Sanha tells him. “I’ll be waiting.”

“I hope so,” Jinwoo answers. “I’m coming because of you.” Before Sanha has time to process exactly what he’s said, Jinwoo adds, “Bye, see you in a bit!” and ends the call.

Sanha is staring at his phone when Rocky steps into the room, towel-drying his hair, and tells him, “Sanha, your ears are red.”

**Spoodles.** @spooodles

Hey friends its 4AM so time for some spoodle theories I know you love those!!! I’m gonna give you a bunch of evidence on why Park Jinwoo is Sanha’s soulmate and then you can yell at me about how I’m wrong (even tho I’m right)! Let’s start!

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[1/??] Before we get into actual evidence, let’s talk about who Park Jinwoo is b/c I didn’t know either until I started trying to figure out who Sanha’s soulmate is. You probably best know him as the guy who did Astro’s Bloom. Yeah, that Bloom. That Bloom we all cried over. He produced it w/ MJ and was the one to come up with all those lovely lyrics. MJ talks about him/making Bloom a bit in this vlive

▶ http://vlive.tv/video/1935...

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[2/??] He ALSO did some work with Weki Meki! We don’t know exactly which track he worked on, but MJ mentions it in the vlive above. Check out about 20:33 for when he starts talking about Weki Meki. He also talks about how they play tennis together and did a food eating challenge together once it’s pretty cute.

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[3/??] He also??? Has an Instagram?? I won’t link it here because I don’t want yall harassing this boy, but he posts a lot of behind the scenes stuff with his producing work, dance covers, and also just really pretty photography. ALSO he’s just so cute?? Slash handsome but SO CUTE!! He also interacts with his followers a lot

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[4/??] Also let me just throw some of his pics at you so you know what this kid looks like while you go thru my theory. So you can also agree with me when I say I ain’t even mad if he ends up Sanha’s soulmate like damn?? Good taste?? (Don’t get me started on that blonde hair I’ll go full feral)

[ image ] [ image ]  
[ image ] [ image ]

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[5/??] ANYWAY HERE WE GO so it started with, surprise! Jinwoo’s insta account! This was back in July, and I’m sure you can all remember what happened. Sanha liked a post about whether soulmates existed and fandom FREAKED. People had been saying for years he must have a soulmate, and we had a lot of shots of his hands + that leaked Star interview for reference. I’ve included relevant pics, translation posted with permission from @alphalite

[ image ] [ image]  
[ image ] [ image]

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[6/??] And you’re probably saying, “Yeah duh Spoods we know. We were there.” Okay but WHOSE insta post did he like? That’s right, the guy whose post started this whole mess was Park Jinwoo! Why is Sanha on his post? If he wanted to like super obviously blow the whistle on him having a soulmate, why not just grab a random soulmate post, there’s like 10000000 of them on insta. Now, you could say he just went for someone he’s familiar with, but patience, young padawan, for I have more evidence!

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[7/??] So the company put out the official confirmation of Sanha having a soulmate. And I know people won’t like this b/c its from that garbage account we don’t talk about, but this is important! From that same day we get pictures of a young looking guy leaving the building. It’s all garbo and gross b/c most creepshots are BUT we can make out a few distinct features. A) he’s wearing a suit—which tells us he isn’t a new trainee and B) hes definitely young so unless the company is employing babies now, he’s probably not an exec or anything

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[8/??] and C) HE’S GOT FUCKING SILVER HAIR. WHO ELSE HAS SILVER HAIR AROUND THAT TIME – OH I DON’T KNOW, JUST ONE PARK JINWOO WHO MADE AN INSTA POST LITERALLY A DAY BEFORE SHOWING IT OFF??? Also its literally styled the same way I swear to god I’m hyperventilating. Peep the comparison

[ image ] [ image ]

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[9/??] AND THEN we’ve got the concerts. Astro went so fucking hard on the concerts I swear to god. I won’t go into ALL of them b/c honestly I don’t wanna make assumptions but I’ll go over the big three I’ve got evidence for. And then also a bonus one from before we learned Sanha had a soulmate b/c looking back WOW IT’S SO OBVIOUS BOY BE LESS OBVIOUS

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[10/??] So first is the 3rd Youth Day Festival (idk if that’s the exact translation someone correct me if I’m wrong). We’ve all seen the pics+cams of Sanha playing around, especially during I’ll Be There (at one point he’s literally off to the side just doing a little happy dance for the crowd istg) – but CHECK OUT WHO WAS ALSO THERE. JUST IN THE CROWD. ATTENDING AS A GUEST.

[ image ] [ image ]

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[11/??] YEAH THAT’S FROM JINWOO’S INSTA AND WHILE HE DIDN’T SAY WHAT EXACT CONCERT HE WENT TO LIKE – LOOK AT THE BACKGROUND. IT’S THE SAME VENUE. REMEMBER WHEN SANHA DID A STUPID HEART KISS LIKE EUNU DOES?? MAN I WONDER WHO THAT WAS FOR!!! SANHA!!!!!

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[12/??] aaaaanywaaaay check out these photos. You can actually see into Jinwoo’s backpack a bit and is that… the handle… of a certain lightstick 👀 like I wish that zipper was pulled down a bit more / that one guy’s arm wasn’t covering it so we could see the bottom of the star but!! It looks like it!!

[ image ] [ image ]

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[13/??] Next we’ve got the Jinan Red Ginseng concert (continue to yell at me if I get these names wrong whoops). This is another one where it’s super obvious Jinwoo attended b/c he literally set his location to the venue!! Wow!!

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[13.5/??] As an aside, Jinwoo really came to fucking slay, who is his stylist?? He dropped the silver hair for black hair but I can’t even be mad when you look at the pics he posted before the concert. That loose tie, slicked-back hair with that one little curl, the way his shirt has one button popped? Are you sure you weren’t there to perform yourself Jinwoo??? Like L O O K A T H I M

[ image ] [ image ]

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[14/??] But the big evidence here isn’t actually from Jinwoo’s side (even tho he made it REALLY OBVIOUS) – instead, Sanha is the one who spilled the beans. Or, rather, Rocky. Thanks Rocky, love your inability to keep a secret! I’ll give the highlights below, but if you want the vlive it’s from, I’ll link it. Just keep the idea of Jinwoo being Sanha’s soulmate in mind as you read/watch!

▶ http://vlive.tv/video/F6F1...

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[15/??] so astro gave us this live from when they were driving down to the concert! For a TLDR, they stopped at a rest stop, played some games, then turned it off presumably to get back to driving. But Sanha is super hyper during it where even aroha is asking if he had an energy drink – and MJ is immediately like, “No he’d be even worse if he had” – and god MJ sounds like a tired mom, someone get him a drink, I can only imagine what the inside of that car looked like

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[16/??] And then Rocky BLESS HIS SOUL (at 5:20ish) says “It’s because of—” and looks to the camera and slaps his hand over his mouth all dramatically and raises his eyebrows. Sanha is immediately all pouty and says it isn’t that. Tells Aroha not to believe Rocky aaaand that’s about when Eunwoo points out the basketball hoop game and says they should make a bet. ROCKY IS IMMEDIATELY IN IT LIKE “Winner gets to make loser do something!!”

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[17/??] Sanha is super confident because he’s GOOD AT GAMES unlike YOU ROCKY-HYUNG but we don’t actually get to see how he reacted to Rocky’s proposal b/c MJ had the camera turned toward him and was being cute at it (I love you boy but you made us miss something so important!) But anyway they play the game and I’ll skip to other relevant bits with times listed.

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[18/??] At [12:00] Sanha takes his go and scores the highest score (until Eunwoo wrecks them all, of course) and Bin teases him saying, “What, you don’t want to do something for your hyung?” I thought he was talking about himself but now I wonder if it was going to involve Jinwoo considering how loudly Sanha sighs at him?? At [16:12] after the outcome’s been decided, Rocky says it isn’t fun since Sanha didn’t lose. MJ says he’ll graciously allow Sanha to be the loser

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[19/??] so Eunwoo can make him do it (what is “it”? we just don’t know) but they’re all bored by then and just sorta wander over to the crane games. Sanha mentions [18:46] that ____ would get him a toy after MJ refuses to share his. MJ retorts he isn’t that person. They’re really careful about not mentioning who this person is, there’s instead a lot of eyebrow raising and whenever one of them looks at Sanha he just sorta smiles and shakes his head like “no don’t say it”.

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[20/??] ANYWAY they finally wrap up at like 28 minutes (such a long vlive of five kids hanging out at a rest stop LMAO) and when MJ says they’re all looking forward to the concert, Bin puts his arm around Sanha’s shoulders and says HE’S really excited about it. Sanha says he is and smiles (because he knows better than to start shit with Bin LMAO) but you can tell he’s so done with his ENTIRE team

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[21/??] Final part is the Busan One Asia Festival where we got to see everyone’s new hair colors (yo blonde bin)! No Eunu b/c of schedules but on the other hand we got actual jinsan content so am I really complaining? NO (let me know what you think of the ship name I think its cute tbh) (considering sanha is studying Japanese, it’s cute to imagine him calling Jinwoo Jin-san LMAO)

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[22/??] ANYWAY while astro was in busan they apparently did check out the sights, we’ve got a few insta posts from them visiting restaurants / the beach. They couldn’t stay long since they were just there for the concert BUT some local residents apparently spotted them going around. I’m not gonna include screenshots of the tweets b/c they’ve been deleted but roughly translated

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[23/??] they say that while Astro was at x restaurant, another guy joined them. Source says he played with MJ and Sanha the most and when they split up afterwards (MJ headed downtown solo, Binu went toward the beach to take a buncha aesthetic shots for insta) he stuck around with Sanhyuk for window-shopping. Another source saw him with just Sanha later strolling around together, looking pretty comfy and FEEDING EACH OTHER LIKE A COUPLE ISTG

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[24/??] Second source is important b/c they took pictures (in general I’m not for this sort of thing, let them have privacy!!) but it confirmed that the random was PROBABLY Jinwoo. It’s a picture from behind but the clothes the taller person is wearing matches what Sanha was wearing in that Goodbye Busan! groupshot and the shorter blonde w/ blue tips matches Jinwoo’s hairstyle he wore for like three days as a hint to a secret he knew

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[24.5/??] oh my god what if the secret he knew was Blue Flame?? JINWOO I SWEAR TO GOD

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[25/??] but anyway if you want to see the screenies, you can track them down, I’m not here to spread that. Instead, I’ll talk about a fourth concert, that happened last December. The Second Astro Concert 👀

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[26/??] so we remember they all got emotional (show me someone who DIDN’T tbh) – but for once even sanha cried. And this is all conjecture / based on how you read body language, but if you check fancams from when they’d do their ments, you can see him CONSTANTLY looking thru the crowd. I think back when it first happened and we were getting fancams, people said it was just b/c of how much he missed aroha but like

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[27/??] honestly on second watch-thru it’s like he’s searching for someone? And from the second day, you’ve got Bin occasionally looking at him – I think we all figured he was just checking up on the baby, b/c Sanha never fucking cries for things like this but what if he knew Sanha was looking for his soulmate and was worried?? But wait Spoods, you’re saying, was Jinwoo at the concert?

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[28/30] The answer is yes LMAO During one of Jinwoo’s recent Q&As someone asked if he was an Astro fan and he said yea, he even went to the 2018 concert. HE WENT TO THE 2018 CONCERT!!! Did he just not tell Sanha where he would be sitting?? So it was like a surprise?? Or, even worse, did Sanha not realize until the concert who his soulmate was? And then he was just desperate to get eyes on Jinwoo?

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[29/30] Regardless, Jinwoo was there. We’ve also had smaller hints like Sanha talking about playing a new game with a friend (think shooty and zombies or just watch that most recent Idol Radio show w/ him in it) and guess who recently posted a screenshot of himself playing that same game? And said it was difficult, but fun with friends?? We’ve also had Sanha talk about trying some spicy dish (I’ll rt the specific post after this) and Jinwoo post a picture of himself with his nose stuffed with tissues b/c of how much he was sweating after eating something hot a few hours after. 

**Spoodles.** @spooodles

[30/30] And, of course, there was that picture Sanha took of a cup with a shiba dog on it with just a heart as his caption, and who is constantly called a puppy by all his followers? Okay maybe this is less evidence and more me just thinking Jinwoo looks like a dog when he’s happy, but THERE YA GO. Park Jinwoo is Sanha’s soulmate and I’m happy for them!!

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

[BONUS] Check the replies to this! People have posted a bunch more examples and I’m living!! ALSO STREAM BLUE FLAME!!

“Don’t drink too much,” Jinwoo cautions him with a small smile.

Sanha can only roll his eyes, taking another gulp that burns down his throat like liquid fire. They’re holed up in a corner of the bar, waiting for Bin to get back.

After another attempt of having a group ski trip was shot down by management, Myungjun finally decided to just take the members of Astro to a ski lodge without saying anything to anyone. Bin had been aching to get out after being put on house arrest for more than a month while his arm healed, and Myungjun was willing to take whatever punishment was ultimately handed out if it meant his members could be happy.

Jinwoo ended up tagging along because he had a car they could borrow—and because he’s Sanha’s soulmate. He’s also the one who ended up showing Sanha how to snowboard, since Bin threw himself onto the harder slopes as soon as they got there.

Even though only three of the members could go, Sanha thinks it’s some of the best fun he’s had with his group. It’s gotten too late to hit the slopes again, and it’s too dark for Jinwoo to drive them home safely, so the boys are enjoying what little freedom they have left before management comes down on them like a hammer tomorrow.

(Now it’s just Jinwoo and Sanha drinking together because Myungjun has a terrible tolerance for alcohol, and Bin wasn’t going to let him navigate to their rooms drunk and alone.)

Compared to Sanha (and Bin, who drinks like a fish without Eunwoo around to keep an eye on him), Jinwoo has gone through his drinks slowly. Even after dinner and some indeterminable time at the bar, he’s only just now begun his third mixed drink. Sanha’s already taken a sip of this most recent one and thinks it’s a lot like Jinwoo: sweet, fizzy, fresh.

(But that might be the buzz talking.)

“’m fine,” Sanha says. He may be drinking a bit more than he usually does, but it’s nothing compared to what he’s seen Bin and Eunwoo put back.

Of course, he thinks sometime later, when Jinwoo is half-dragging him into a darkened bedroom, maybe he overestimated his ability to handle alcohol. He’s not so utterly smashed that he’s going to puke or forget everything, but he is drunk enough that when Jinwoo steadies him, he finds himself smushing his cheek against Jinwoo’s shoulder, rolling his eyes up to look at Jinwoo with a wide smile.

“You’re definitely fine,” Jinwoo tells him with a small laugh, working to get more of Sanha’s weight onto his shoulder and off of the floor. More strenuously, he adds, “You’re also heavy.”

“Not,” Sanha tells him. Then he giggles and chirps, “It’s just because hyung’s short!”

“We can’t all be giraffes,” is Jinwoo’s sullen response. He finally gets the door open and shoves Sanha in ahead of him.

Sanha remembers how to walk just long enough to approach the first bed he sees and only stays upright until he can just fall face-first onto the mattress. He lands on it sideways, long legs trailing on the floor, and his stomach lurches uncomfortably with the motion. He rolls onto his back and moans, “Bad idea,” with his eyes squeezed shut against a rush of vertigo.

“No,” Jinwoo tells him, following after and kneeling down to start working Sanha’s feet out of his boots, “the bad idea was deciding to drink my drinks while waiting for yours.”

“You order pretty drinks,” Sanha murmurs. He lifts his leg obligingly when he feels Jinwoo struggling to raise it and sets his boot on Jinwoo’s knee. Gentle tugs tell him Jinwoo is fighting the laces, and Sanha giggles again without really knowing what he finds funny.

“That’s because they taste good,” Jinwoo tells him. “If I’m going to drink, I want it to at least taste good.”

“Mmm,” Sanha hums, eyes still shut.

Jinwoo removes his boots and then helps him rise up just enough to struggle free of his jacket. He wonders if Jinwoo will try to help him take his trousers off, but instead Jinwoo flops down on the bed beside him.

“I’m tired,” Jinwoo says, voice muffled by the bed’s comforter, and Sanha hums out an agreement. He finally peeks open his eyes, finds exactly where Jinwoo is in relation to him, and squirms closer.

When Jinwoo makes a quiet sound, Sanha says, “Warm,” the smile on his face spreading wider as he turns onto his side and snuggles against Jinwoo. He’s not really cold, not with his stomach full of alcohol and his body still clothed, but being able to treat Jinwoo like a body pillow makes him feel even better.

He feels Jinwoo chuckle against him, something low and barely-there that nevertheless reverberates through his very bones.

“You’re so weird,” his soulmate says, sounding wistful. When his hand comes up to stroke through Sanha’s hair, gently combing out the tousled blonde locks, Sanha closes his eyes again.

He doesn’t know how long they lie like that, because the alcohol drags him in and out of consciousness, but he eventually wakes up with most of his buzz burnt off and finds Jinwoo still curled up against him. He’s still stroking Sanha’s hair with one hand while he watches a video on the phone in his other hand.

Sanha is content to lie with him, watching Jinwoo watch whatever it is he’s watching, but then Jinwoo murmurs, “I wish we could just say we’re soulmates instead of hiding it.”

Sanha answers without thought, his voice scratchy: “Wouldn’t that be bad for you?”

Jinwoo puts the video on pause and half-turns to face him, wearing a smile as he says, “Good morning to you too, sleepyhead. What makes you say that?”

Sanha’s tongue sits heavy in his mouth, but he makes an effort to speak properly when he answers. “If we announced we’re soulmates, they’ll think we’re in a,” and he giggles, a little bit, nerves making him stumble over the words, “a romantic relationship. It’d be bad for you.”

He feels his ears burn when Jinwoo just stares at him. After a beat, Jinwoo says, very softly and very seriously, “Why would us being seen as in a relationship be bad for me?”

“’cuz you don’t want that?” Or, at least, that was what Sanha always feared. He’s done his best to never push too far into Jinwoo’s personal space, but Jinwoo’s pull is almost gravitational. Not that Sanha’s “best” has ever been anything more than his head desperately trying to rationalize away a burgeoning love his heart recognized from the first day they met as soulmates.

“I think there’s been a slight miscommunication,” Jinwoo murmurs.

And then Jinwoo reaches—and Sanha thinks of _The Words_ , suddenly, inexplicably, the rush of emotions that had flooded over him when he read an actual shopping list, of all things—and his hand catches Sanha by the shoulder, drawing him near. He moves as if through molasses, and Sanha can only watch the trajectory of his path, mind hazily registering what’s happening before his eyes snap shut of their own volition.

And Jinwoo kisses him.

At first it’s just a brush of lips, a touch so soft it drains all the oxygen from Sanha’s lungs, and he sucks in more air as Jinwoo draws back just enough to check his reaction.

Jinwoo’s wearing a smile, something that reads a touch disbelieving, and the tips of his ears flush a darker red in the scant light made available by the moon outside and the screen of his phone. “See,” he says, his voice not quite a croak but close to it, and Sanha realizes something as simple as a kiss is enough to undo him as well. “That wasn’t so bad.”

Sanha can only answer, “I don’t know,” with a bravado that’s barely skin-deep. “Maybe try again?”

Jinwoo mouths something that looks suspiciously like an insult but does as Sanha commands. This time they kiss for longer, a silken touch that’s split open by the introduction of a tongue, and then Jinwoo is half-crawling on top of Sanha, nearly cradling his jaw, before he abruptly breaks the kiss and leans back. He rakes his hair back, not-quite straddling Sanha, and looks down on Sanha with his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Why’d you stop?” Sanha asks, the question breaking into a near-whine as he tries to drag Jinwoo back down on top of him. But he’s reminded of just how solid Jinwoo can be. His soulmate is as unmovable as stone, and Sanha thinks huffily that Rocky and Jinwoo could be a set of rockmen.

“You’re drunk,” Jinwoo says. He chuckles and kisses Sanha just as he starts to protest, swallowing down his words and licking across the open seam of Sanha’s mouth, sending a flash of heat coiling down Sanha’s spine. “Besides,” he adds when he’s stolen all the breath from Sanha’s lungs, “you taste like old booze.”

“’m not that drunk,” Sanha mutters when he’s able to form words again, still stuck on the sensation of Jinwoo’s tongue in his mouth.

“Sanha,” Jinwoo says—and Sanha sighs, recognizing a battle he cannot win.

“Fine,” he answers. “But cuddling isn’t a crime.” He wraps his hands around Jinwoo’s forearms as he says it, gently tugging. Jinwoo relents with another breathy chuckle, and he slowly slides down until he’s half-draped over Sanha.

“Better?” he breathes into Sanha’s ear. The blast of hot air makes Sanha squirm, and Jinwoo hums a satisfied sound as he presses kisses to Sanha’s ear and then down the sensitive side of his neck.

“You’re making it hard to be good,” Sanha tells Jinwoo, but he makes no attempt to move away. 

“I’ve wanted to do this for a while,” Jinwoo answers.

“I wish you’d told me.”

Jinwoo laughs and briefly lifts himself up so that Sanha can see the grin curling across his face. “I thought I made it pretty clear,” he retorts, expression one of fond exasperation, “Should I have done an entire confession? With your infamous choreo?” He mimes a bit of it, placing his fist over his heart.

Sanha blushes when he imagines it and is only mollified by the fact Jinwoo looks just as embarrassed to even suggest it.

“No,” he says with feeling. “This is so much better.”

After a beat, he adds, “Except for the no sex thing. That sucks.”

Jinwoo snorts and shakes his head before collapsing back down beside him. “I’d rather our first time be vaguely romantic. Not next door to your teammates—preferably with both of us semi-sober, and at the end of a nice date.”

“I’ve got a guitar if you want to get the flower petals and candles,” Sanha says.

Jinwoo laughs then nuzzles against Sanha’s shoulder. “Oh,” he sighs out, “don’t ruin it for me.”

For a few moments, there is silence. Sanha tracks the steady rise and fall of Jinwoo’s side, head blissfully empty of all worries and responsibilities. But then something rises to the forefront of his mind, and he opens his mouth to confirm. “So we’ll tell them when we get back? Everyone?”

“Yeah,” Jinwoo murmurs back to him. His voice is a low rumble, steeped in fatigue, and Sanha wonders how long he’s been awake. He hopes Jinwoo will sleep soon, now that he’s ascertained Sanha came through his binge as well as he could. “I know it’ll be hard, but I want to do all the cute things soulmates do. We can take couple photos and do those collab Tik Toks and—and other stuff. We can just walk around holding hands.”

“I’d like that,” Sanha says softly. He reaches up with his hand and gently combs away the bangs that have fallen into disarray around Jinwoo’s face.

He thinks it’ll be hard. But he also thinks it doesn’t matter, with Jinwoo by his side.

He stares at his soulmate and thinks, _I’ll bear anything if it’s for you._

**L I G H T inthedark 🎂** @0223_XXOO

Sanha is officially dating/soulmates with Park Jinwoo. They hope people will support them going forward. F*mu has already expressed well-wishes to the couple. Full translation to follow 💜

[ image ] [ image ]

 **rickrolling thru life 😈** @astroha_22

LOOK AT THEM!! LOOK AT THEM! MY BABIESSSSS

 **i write smut not tragedy #OT5Forever** @trashbin_writes

omg the insta pics they’ve been posting are so fucking cute tho

 **RED 💜 #ROCKY_SWAG 💜** @rockyyychu

@trashbin_writes I cannot believe you made me look at so much cuteness without protective eyewear. I’m blinded now!!

 **Peach Butt 🍑** @offclaroha

Guys I’m honestly overwhelmed. Might just sign off Twitter for today and bask in the cuteness on display.

 **your local fire-breathing dragon** @fiery_soul

😩😩👌

 **kisses & misses **@purple_starlife

idk how I feel tbh :/ isn’t this guy like way older?

 **ALL PUN NO SUN** @milkywhite

@spooodles bitch i cannot believe

 **ALL PUN NO SUN** @milkywhite

@spooodles literally how the fUCk

 **RED 💜 #ROCKY_SWAG 💜** @rockyyychu

@purple_starlife He’s only four years older! He’s actually younger than MJ 😂

 **kisses & misses **@purple_starlife

@rockyyychu omg m-hyung surrounded by babies L O L

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

I’M A FUCKING GENIUS

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

GALAXY BRAIN BABY

[ image ]

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

Wait fuck I can actually throw together all my secret pictures of them together BECAUSE IT’S OFFICIAL NOW

 **Spoodles.** @spooodles

Yall get ready for the best thread of all time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some bits and pieces mentioned in the fic are based off rl things - most obvious being the lil dance jinsan had during I'll Be There at the Youth Festival, and Sanha mentioning that he fell asleep listening to Jinwoo read his section of _Beauty and the Beast_. the ski lodge thing is _kind of_ based off when jinwoo and sanha's fam hung out together - but this time sanha didn't get so drunk he puked and jinwoo had to clean it up :^) b/c that's _not_ romantic LMAO 
> 
> anyway, thank you for reading :D


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